Élodie, mum to five-year-old Louise, had just sat down when she thought she ought to use this moment to do something good for herself. Louise was playing in her bedroom. The living room was quiet. This was her chance to breathe, stretch or perhaps start the meditation session she had saved three weeks ago.
She found her mat, moved a chair and opened the app. She had to choose a duration, a voice and a goal. Élodie looked at the options. Even her rest now came with a menu.
She was tired. She did not particularly want to get better at relaxing.
When looking after yourself becomes an instruction
The mat had done nothing wrong. Neither had meditation. Some days, Élodie enjoyed walking alone or stretching her back. What weighed on her this time was the little “you should” added to everything else.
She had already thought about the swimming bag, replied to the school message and checked what was left for dinner. Now she also had to make intelligent use of her free minutes.
Instead of recovering, she was organising another activity. Then she wondered why she could not keep up a habit that was supposed to help her feel good.
There can be room for a few minutes of movement, on days when that feels good. But a break does not need to produce anything to count. Not a completed session, not perfect breathing, not a photograph of a mug beside a book.
One thing less before one thing more
Élodie closed the app. She left the mat half-unrolled and sat down again, her feet in her slippers. For a few minutes, she chose nothing.
It was not a solution to all her busy days. Dinner still needed preparing and the laundry would not put itself away. But she could stop adding a demand to this particular moment.
For the following week, she also asked for concrete help: the other parent would prepare the swimming bag, including checking the towel. Not just an invitation to “take time for herself” while she continued to plan everything.
We can look for that kind of small space: a task left aside, a responsibility genuinely shared or ten minutes without deciding what comes next. And keep the bath, the walk or yoga for days when we feel like it.
Louise came to ask what she was doing. Élodie replied: “I’m sitting.”
For once, the answer felt sufficient.
