While Gabriel was happily playing with his grandmother, I put Angelina in the baby carrier and went for a walk in the woods. Just her and me.
When you have more than one child, being alone with just one of them can suddenly feel almost restful.
At first, I thought I was simply giving her a little one-to-one time. But as I walked, I realised the moment might have been mostly for me.
With more than one child, your attention is always divided
With two children, my attention is almost always split. Even when I am with Angelina, part of me is listening to Gabriel, answering a question or anticipating what he will need. And when I am with Gabriel, there is always a baby to carry, feed or settle to sleep.
That day, suddenly, there was nothing to juggle. I did not have to decide who to listen to first, interrupt a cuddle or do two things at once.
I simply had my baby against me, a path ahead and nothing else to manage.
And it felt incredibly good.
I think what rested me was not only the forest or the silence. It was the simple feeling, for a few minutes, of having only one person who needed me.
I came home calmer than when I left.
Angelina had had her mum all to herself for a while. But in the end, I think that one-to-one time had mostly done me good.
