At 8:12, Gabriel, my almost four-year-old son, was looking for his other sock. I’d already chosen his clothes, changed the planned snack, checked a message and decided whether the water bottle needed washing again.

I’d also answered questions nobody would remember: which bag, which jacket, which bread, now or in five minutes?

Fifteen decisions, perhaps. I hadn’t counted. Mostly, I felt I’d started the day with every drawer in my head left open.

Tiredness also comes from choices nobody sees

None of those decisions was impressive. That was precisely what made them hard to name. We see a packed bag. We see less of the checking, hesitation and changes that came before it.

I could have made a chart to share it all out better. Some days, a chart is useful. But that morning, the idea of designing one already added several choices: which columns, what format and when to fill it in?

I didn’t want to become more efficient at processing every request. I wanted some of them to stop coming back each morning.

Not everything could disappear. Gabriel sometimes needed help and unexpected events didn’t read our preparations from the night before. Still, a few decisions had become daily ones without any particular need.

Remove a choice instead of learning to make more

We kept two ordinary snacks to choose between instead of reopening every cupboard possibility each day. Things left at nursery stopped coming home for no reason.

For the bag, the other parent took full responsibility on some days: checking, preparing and thinking about what was missing. Not just doing up the zip after asking me what needed to go inside.

They weren’t huge transformations. They removed a few questions from my circuit rather than asking me to answer faster.

I could also postpone anything that didn’t need deciding before we left. A message about an activity the following month didn’t become urgent because I’d read it over breakfast.

Gabriel eventually found his sock. The next day, he would surely have another question and I wouldn’t have become a person with endless availability.

But I could aim for a morning with fewer open drawers. Before adding another organisational tool, I’d started by choosing what I no longer wanted to decide every day.

Keep this handy

The situation

The morning has barely begun and you already feel you've made too many decisions?

Try this

We kept two ordinary snacks to choose between instead of reopening every cupboard possibility each day.

  • “I need a few minutes. I'll be back.”

Keep in mind: Self-care should not become another task to do perfectly.