I had my shoes on, my bag ready and time to say goodbye before leaving. Malo, my almost-three-year-old son, put his hand on the door.
I told him I was going to work. He asked why. I started explaining that I needed to earn money, then saw his gaze move from my face to my bag. Explaining work to a young child was not so simple. Especially when the question came just as I was leaving.
Explaining what we do, not only why we leave
To me, “work” meant a whole day, colleagues, tasks and a salary. To Malo, it mostly sounded like a place where his mother disappeared after breakfast.
I told him about a concrete part of my day at the bookshop: receiving boxes, shelving books and helping people find one. He asked whether I also put away the ones with dinosaurs. At last, we were talking about something he could imagine.
Money could be part of the answer. But I did not need to go through the bills, let alone explain that I was leaving because of his shoes or everything he ate. The household budget was still an adult matter.
I said that my work allowed me to earn money to pay for what we needed. Then I added that I also enjoyed looking after the books. There was more than one reason for my departure, and Malo did not have to become the expensive one.
His next question was mainly about my return
He looked at the door and asked whether I would be back soon. I could have said yes to end the conversation. But “soon”, in my day, meant several hours.
That day, I knew I would be there after his afternoon snack. I gave him that marker and reminded him who he would stay with. On another day, if my schedule was uncertain, it would be better to say so simply than promise to return for an activity I might miss.
We can prepare a few words about our work without turning the goodbye into an economics lesson:
“I’m going to work at the bookshop. I put the books away and help people choose some.”
“You’re staying with Dad today. I’ll be home after your afternoon snack.”
The second sentence obviously assumes that the marker is reliable. A child does not need a detailed schedule, but to know what is planned for them while we are away.
Malo had understood the boxes and the dinosaurs. He would still have preferred me to stay. I gave him a cuddle before leaving; I did not need his approval of my day to say goodbye.
